Why, Can’t You Eat?

“Okay so you felt a little sick, and you just slept for a bit, then came back.”

Sponsored Content

“Yeah.”

“Okay, okay.
Our Lily, your face has become gaunt lately, I guess you were sick.
Well… I won’t ask why you were with Commander Lucen, why your face has gotten a bit more lively, and I espe~ecially won’t ask the very trivial question of why your hair is braided in such a pretty way.”

“……”

Lucy smiled mischievously and elbowed me on the side.

In the lounge, while I was worrying over what to say about why I’d been away from my duties for so long, Endymion said that he’ll tell them that I was just resting because I wasn’t feeling well, then he took me to Lucy without explaining further.

My duties include checking whether the returned books were damaged or not and seeing if the books were returned to the right shelves.
Certainly, if I was away for about two hours, it wouldn’t raise any suspicions.
And Lucy wasn’t going to pry, but… I sighed as I realized that it was my face that got me caught.

“I thought you didn’t like him, but you look quite close to him these days, huh?”

“…It’s not like that.”

“What do you mean it’s not like that? His eyes are dripping honey every time he looks at you… If that’s not a man in love, who is?”

When we parted ways, Endymion told me that he’d wait outside until my work was over, but I told him to just leave, and he couldn’t hide his glum frown.

“You really don’t have any feelings for him? From what I can tell, Commander Lucen’s serious about you.
Other people say that he just took notice of you because you have black hair, but I think that he genuinely likes you.”

“That’s…”

When Endymion called my name and looked at my black hair, I had vaguely guessed that this was the case when he told me I resembled the person he liked.
When I trailed off and didn’t finish my sentence, Lucy continued with renewed momentum.

“You’re weak to those who are weak, but you’re weak to those who are strong, too.
You can’t refuse a request when you’re asked and you don’t know how to say no—”

“I’m not that naïve.”

“Yes, you definitely are naïve.
What I’m worried about with you is that you’re weak to strong-minded people, so much that you can’t say no to the Commander.
If he’s that determined to seduce you, then you’ll get eaten up.”

“……”

I had nothing to say in return because I was being called out for my personality, but Endymion wasn’t someone who’d do that.
It was me who acted recklessly.

“If you have feelings for Commander Lucen, then get married quickly.
He won’t treat you carelessly.
You know I’m quick-witted with these things, right? But if you don’t feel the same way and he tries to do something bad to you, don’t hesitate—just kick him right in the balls.”

“Hey, the Commander’s a noble.”

“His Majesty the Emperor himself isn’t so strict about status either, so I don’t think it’ll be a problem.
The Commander isn’t like that also, I think.”

Lucy’s story didn’t seem to make sense, but the way she advised me so seriously made me laugh without me realizing it.
As Lucy pouted and repeated the words, “Just be careful!” I couldn’t tell her that it was me, the succubus, who actually needed to treat Endymion and the other commanders more tenderly… Of course, I didn’t tell her.

 

·

Sponsored Content

 

“Miss Lily.”

When I finished my work and handed in my report, Endymion approached me as I went outside, seeming as if he had been waiting all that time.
He reached out his hand to me, and I wondered if this person really thought that I was sick.
I shook my head.

“It’s alright.
I’m not really sick.”

“…Um, ah, yes.”

He smiled awkwardly and lowered his hand.
As he tilted his head to the side in bashfulness, I somehow felt people’s eyes on us, so I frowned and went down the stairs.
I walked away from the main path with streetlights and, breaking the silence between us, Endymion spoke.

“Miss Lily… Have you always been a succubus?”

“Pardon?”

“Your personality is very different from when we meet at night compared to now.”

“Well, it’s just like that…”

Hearing the unexpected question, I hesitated and avoided answering.
I honestly don’t know to what extent I could trust Endymion, so I’m not sure if I should explain everything.
I know that this person likes me, but I’m not sure yet if I felt the same way.
And I couldn’t rely on just one-sided feelings.

Perhaps knowing that I didn’t want to answer, Sir Endymion didn’t ask any further.
As I felt a bit uncomfortable because of the awkward atmosphere, when I sighed, he suddenly blew into my ear.

“Ack!”

Surprised by the hot breath, my face grew flushed in an instant.
He smiled as though he was having a lot of fun.

“S-S-Sexual harassment!”

“Isn’t what you do to me at night more like sexual harassment?”

“That…!”

I couldn’t say anything to his calm response.
Of course, I knew it myself that what I did to him was leaps and bounds worse than just blowing into an ear.

Endymion walked in front of me and took the lead.
With a red face, I quietly followed behind him.
Then, at some point, the distance that had been far away gradually became closer.

“I’m always on your side.”

“……”

“If you need to confide in anyone, I’ll be there anytime.
I’ll definitely be your strength.”

Looking straight into my eyes, he said this sincerely.
Again, it felt like he had read my mind.
I bowed my head and rubbed my cheek with the back of my hand.

The only thing I could see were his black shoes, but as Sir Endymion suddenly stopped walking, I raised my head.
Endymion, who was now standing beside me, muttered in an awkward voice.

“Ares.”

Sponsored Content

In front of us stood Ares, with his hair all messed up, his eyes puffy as though he had cried, and his lips swollen because he had bitten it so much.
Endymion frowned at the other man’s appearance.

“Eddy, what do I do? What should I do? I keep thinking about… I can’t stand it because I keep thinking about her… but she’s, she’s nowhere to be found….
hiic…”

Ares, who spoke with a trembling voice, finally burst into tears.
Endymion sighed, and I stepped back as I felt flustered.

I heard that Sir Odil and Sir Ares were looking for me.
I was positive I wouldn’t get caught based on my appearance, but I felt nervous because Endymion recognized me anyway through my scent.

And when Ares rubbed his eyes with his palm, he looked up to stare at me with a distorted expression.
I almost ran away without realizing it…

“I’m, hicc, looking for someone with black, hiic, black hair just like her but, hiic hiic, I couldn’t find her…!”

“…Ah.
I-Is that so.”

“Where, where… hicc, where could she… hiiiicc!”

I don’t think I was recognized.
I was relieved that he couldn’t recognize me even as he was standing right in front of me.
But this made me think how strange it was for Endymion to recognize me at once.

Even so, I don’t know why he was so sad about not finding me, to the point that he would cry like this… I don’t understand.

I tapped on Endymion’s arm and looked at Ares, who continued to sniffle.

“…Ares.
You, I mean…”

And Endymion looked at Ares with an expression as dumbfounded as mine.
He looked at Ares and me alternately, and he nodded at me as though to tell me to stand by.
Then, he sighed.

“I-Is it because she hates me, hiic, detests me? Huh?”

“No.
No, that’s not it.”

“Uwaaahh! Eddy! I really want to see her! I, I’ll really recognize her right away!”

“No, uh…”

The reason why Ares was looking for me desperately… I really don’t want to know.

Sir Endymion looked down at Sir Ares as he wailed desperately.
With an awkward expression, I mouthed to him, ‘I’ll get going first’.

Sir Endymion looked at me as though he didn’t want to part ways, but Sir Ares seemed to cry louder if Sir Endymion tried to move even a little.

As I walked away, I could still hear their voices as the distance between us grew further.

“Eddy! Uwaaahh!”

“You—your nose, huh, where’d you leave it?”

“Hicc, no, hiic, what—what are you talking about—uwaahh!”

“Or is it just for decoration? Your nose and eyes don’t work, huh?”

Sponsored Content

“Why… why are you saying, hiic, saying that, huh? Hiicc…”

“Maybe it’s better if we just remove those useless things.
Ugh, get off me, come on.”

For the first time, I heard Sir Endymion’s harsh tone.
Right then, I remembered what Regulus said about everyone having terrible personalities, they’re just hiding it.

 

·

 

After rushing back to the Wind Palace where the maids lived, I stopped by the dining hall and picked up a handful of dried fruits before I went back to my room.
I chewed a sliced apple and went through the door, but before I could enter, there was a loud noise next door.
Maria ran out to meet me.

“Lily! You’ve got a letter!”

“Oh, thanks Maria.
You could have given it to me next time.”

“I think it’s sent from home, that’s why I waited up for you.”

I quickly checked the envelope that Maria handed to me.
She’s right, it’s from my mom.
I pushed a small slice of fruit into Maria’s lips and smiled.

“Thank you, really.
Are you going out?”

“Yup! The night bazaar starts today, so I’m going there with Lisa.
It’d be nice if you come too, Lily.”

Maria, who had obviously dressed up for the occasion, turned around and said this to me with a saddened voice.

In Ciel, the night bazaar was held from the 10th to the 14th of every month.
It was an event held by the Imperial family with the intention to revitalize the capital, where the atmosphere had grown somber after the war.

It was a large-scale bazaar where there’s lots to see, and the security’s tight, so it was almost like a festival.
Even so, I’ve never gone there.
I’d tell myself that it might be okay within a few days after I had absorbed essence, but I refrained from going because the night was always unpredictable.
I didn’t know what could happen, and it was especially difficult at this time of the day.

“I want to come with you, but I need to work tomorrow.
And I didn’t get permission to go out.
Let’s go together next time.”

“It’s really hard to catch you on your days off.
But Lily, who did your hair?”

“Huh?”

“Don’t you know that your hair is never that neat whenever you tie it up? Who was it, Lucy? Ah, no, she doesn’t even know how to braid her own hair because she’s too lazy to do it.”

It’s been a year since I entered the castle, but only Maria and Lucy were the two people I could call friends.
Actually, those two were the first to approach me, that’s why we got close.
I didn’t even talk to other people that much, so Maria knew how narrow my social circle was.

As I couldn’t answer her right away, with an excited voice, Maria asked out of curiosity.

“Did you get close to someone else?”

“…Rather than getting close to that person, it’s just someone who comes by the library often… And my hair was untied today, so that person tied it up for me…”

Sponsored Content

“Who? They come often? Is it a guy?”

“Huh? Um, y-yeah.”

I averted my gaze as I answered, then Maria immediately jumped lightly on her feet while saying, “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh!” I could tell what she was thinking, but it looked like it was a situation that Maria never expected.

I quietly pointed to the clock at the end of the hallway.

“What if you run out of time?”

“Ack!”

“Be careful of pickpockets and come back safely.
It’ll be dangerous to walk around too late, so you should return early.”

“Ugh… Okay, okay.
If I see a pretty hair tie, I’ll buy it for you!”

Maria, who persisted on staying on the subject until the end, looked at me expectantly until I successfully avoided her uncomfortable gaze and slipped into my room.

After closing the door behind me, I took out a letter opener from the drawer and carefully took out the letter from its envelope.
A separate old yellow parchment came out, and after I carefully placed that one on the desk, I read the other pages where my mother’s familiar handwriting could be seen.

「 My dearest Lily.
The fact that you’re healthy and well is my greatest joy.
」

As usual, the contents of her letter started with that, and continued with gentle words filled with updates about her and my father, her concerns and worries, and some interesting rumors.

I read the letter as I laid back in bed, and when she mentioned something about a young man from Ciel who had black hair and red eyes, there was someone that popped into my mind.
But I shook my head immediately when she also mentioned that he was a very kind and good person.

Anyway, my mom seemed to have enjoyed conversing with him.
She said that the man might visit me a little later because she told him my name, so I decided to thank him later if we ever met, for treating my mom well.

And the story I’d been waiting for was on the last page, but contrary to what I was expecting, there was nothing special.

She only reiterated the things she knew about the ring, which she already told me about when she first gave me the relic.
However, later while she was reorganizing my grandmother’s mementos, she found a letter from my grandmother’s friend.
She said that this person was perhaps a noble from Ciel, and that she hoped this detail would help me.

I rose from the bed and folded the letter, placing it back in its envelope.
Then, I picked up the parchment I had placed on my desk.

The parchment made a crumbling sound as I touched it, and it looked as though it would break apart the moment I pressed too hard.
It seemed to be decades old.

Apart from that, the ink had spread over the parchment, so it was difficult to read it, but as my mom said, I could tell instantly that the sender was a noble.

And this person not only knew my grandmother’s identity, but it also seemed like they were more than just friends.

“I wish you happiness from afar.
Marsein Fenril.
Fenril?”

I suddenly remembered that Ares’ last name was Fenril.
It was a really unwanted coincidence.

I had a lot of questions about my grandmother, whose face I didn’t even know.
She wasn’t just a half-succubus like me, but she’s a full-fledged succubus.
Even my mom, who was my grandmother’s daughter, didn’t know much about her, and I knew less than my mom… I really do want to meet her if I had the opportunity.

The problem was whether she was still alive, or where exactly she was—if she was still alive.
Of course, I could ask Ares, but I have no idea why he was sobbing like that before.
There’s no way I could come to him in my succubus form in the current situation, so… how could I go about asking him while I’m in this form?

There wasn’t much progress in my rumination.
My first priority was still the ring, so I sighed and placed the yellow parchment deep into my drawer.
As expected, there seemed to be no other way.
All I could do was wait for Damian for now.

I never imagined that it was Damian, not anyone else, who I wanted to see right now.
Goosebumps rose up my spine at the thought, but I just want to find my ring as soon as possible.
Please, just let me return to a body that is no longer swayed by instinct or pleasure.