Underworld Player

meant to ask if you ever returned the door… ” said Bai Zhi gravely.

Late Night Kitty furrowed her brows in bewilderment.

”Doors are expensive.
I used to do some construction work for building renovations, so I do know a thing or two about such matters. ”

Kitty went on, pretending not to hear Bai Zhi.
”…Anyway, after that, I tried challenging myself to watch a horror movie alone in the dorms. ”

She cracked a rueful smile.
”The plan was to ramp up gradually, so I started with a movie that had traumatized me in my childhood.
Since I knew the plot, I thought it would be less scary— ”

”Uh-huh, so why are you still such a scaredy-cat? ”

”—I wasn ’t done! After I finished that movie, I was traumatized a second time.
I successfully brought my childhood trauma with me into adolescence. ”

”Hmm? ” Bai Zhi was sweeping the flashlight beam to and fro as he inspected the other features of this modestly-sized kitchen, and he replied casually, ”I have a good suggestion for you.
When you train, you gotta do the right exercises with the right forms, you know.
So when you ’re training your courage, why not try watching that scary movie while you have Chinese New Year music or a hilarious comedy*** on in the background? ”

”Uh…
what? ”

Bai Zhi tapped himself on the head.
”Oops, almost forgot…
Hold this. ” Handing the flashlight in his left hand to Late Night Kitty, Bai Zhi retrieved, from his Inventory, that notorious item ubiquitously found dominating public spaces year-round, a portable speaker^.
After turning the volume dial all the way up, he pressed the ”play ” button with no hesitation.

”My one true love is, the open sky～

Lush grass and flowers on the mountain-side～

What kind of rhythm, shall swing me side to side～

How shall I sing, to feel alive～ ”^^

———

Immediately, the upbeat, pulsing music reverberated around the room.
The music seemed to stimulate Late Night Kitty, and she opened her eyes in a daze.

”What the f… ”

”I SPECIALLY ORDERED THE EXTRA DELUXE SPEAKER USED BY THOSE OLDER LADIES, IT ’S SUPER LOUD AND HAS GREAT BATTERY LIFE! WHADDAYA THINK? THIS MUSIC REALLY CHANGES THE WHOLE VIBE OF THE PLACE, HUH? ”

Bai Zhi picked up the speaker and nodded smugly.

”LOADED THIS BABY WITH 300 SONGS, POSITIVE VIBES ONLY! IT ’S GOT FESTIVE TUNES AND EVEN THAT ZHUBAJIE SONG! WANNA LISTEN? ”

”…WHAT DO YOU EVEN HAVE IN YOUR INVENTORY?! ”

Late Night Kitty ’s expression was a combination of disbelief and disgust.

”Y ’KNOW, SUPPLIES! DIDN ’T YOU GUYS PREPARE? PITY I COULDN ’T GET A DIESEL GENERATOR ON SHORT NOTICE OR WE COULDA TURNED THE LIGHTS ON. ”

Bai Zhi shook his head regretfully.

”OH, I SHOULD MENTION, I ALSO KNOW A THING OR TWO ABOUT WIRING.
I ’M QUITE PROFESSIONAL, ACTUALLY. ”

Late Night Kitty said nothing.

*Surströmming (Swedish for ”sour herring ”), a lightly salted fermented herring product traditional to Swedish cuisine since at least the 16th century.
Stinks.
Reaction video: https://youtu.be/_haw_YDC_zo

**Chinese meme.
The final word is ”Auliget ”, a transliteration of a nonsense word used as an exclamation (also a brand of kitchen decor products, presumably also referencing the meme).
Sample of original speech here: https://youtu.be/WO8mrVjW0-c

***In the raw, the specific comedy mentioned is 猪八戒背媳妇 (Zhu Bajie Gives His Bride a Piggyback Ride), omitted for brevity.
The story originates from a TV adaptation of Journey to the West whereby Zhu Bajie is pranked by Sun Wukong.

^In China and other parts of Asia, there is a culture of organizing large group activities in public spaces, coordinated by music or instructions from a portable speaker.
At one point, line dancing was a nationwide phenomenon, taken up en masse by women of a certain age, and the massive popularity of such activities made portable speakers a common sight.

^^From an EDM (?) track known as 凤凰传奇 (Legend of the Phoenix).
A common style of music used in aforementioned public line dances.
The lyrics have been translated to fit the rhythm and rhyme scheme, try singing along: https://youtu.be/3A10sBxTzy4