SHATTERED SOUL

FLASHBACK

HALEEMAS POV

JANUARY 2006

The noise woke her up. It always does. She should have been used to it but it always become new every night. She pushed the duvet off of her and climbed out of bed quietly and walked to her door. She gently pushed it open and stealthy walks along the passage towards where the noise was coming from. She moved quietly even though she knew they wouldn hear her. The closer she get the louder the thuds amidst muffled voices coming from her parent room.

She was so tired of them. She was just two years but she was always scared of what would happen when her parent are together. The house was always quiet when you count out the tantrums her mother throws and accuses her father who was an army was always not home of infidelity but whenever he comes back, the fight always happened.

”Did the noise wake you up? ” She quickly jerked her head towards the voice and found her elder brother Umar, who was no more than seven years old staring down at her small frame. She shyly nodded her head.

”Come on then, let get you back to bed ” he said and gently held her hand pulling her back to her room.

”I hate you mahmood!.. I regret the day I decided to wed you!.. I wish for you to rot in hell! ” Their mothers voice coming from the close doors stopped them in their tracks as more crash continues in the closed room.

”Will you stop it already? ” Their fathers voice echoed in the silent night.

”Hey, let go ” Umar gently tug his sister along.

The quilt was still on the floor exactly where she left it. Umar covered her with it as she lay on the bed. He kissed her goodnight on the forehead and made to leave for his room.

”Will they ever stop? ” Her small voice asked him before he walked out of the room. He turned with a frown on his face and forced a smile at her.

”I hope so Haleema.I hope so ”

”I hate to see them fight ” She cried. He felt so sad and came back to her. She was so fragile and it hurt him to see their parent misbehaving.

”Everything will be alright, Ok? ” His young self assured her.

”Will you stay with me for the night? ” She begged and he couldn say no. He came and lay close to her telling her a story untill she fell asleep.

PRESENT DAY

APRIL 2021

”Wake up sleepy head ” I heard my dad called out to me through my subconscious mind as I slowly open my eyes to meet the blurry figure of my dad poking his head through my half open door.

”Am awake but I thought I said not to wake me till 10 oclock..My lectures is not due untill 11 ” I said lazily as I pulled my blanket to cover my eyes from the bright light coming through the windows into my room.

”Breakfast is ready and yes it is after 8am ” I heard him said as he gently closed the door and walk away. I smiled as I listened to the soft patter of his shoes as he walk down the hall probably to his room or the kitchen and my mind wondered back to the dream I had earlier or was it a memory I inwardly asked myself.

I have been having those lately and I couldn shake the feelings that they are memories and flashback of my mum and my elder brother Umar. The last time I saw them was fifteen years ago when I was barely three years old and my little mind couldn fathom what a family I had then. I never remember my childhood as it was so traumatic and my mind had blocked it. I tried discussing the memories with my father when I started having them but he wouldn let us talk about it. He claimed it reminds him of my mum who died when I was about three years. She died together with my elder brother.

”They had an accident ” he had said and kept quite. I eagerly waited to hear more but it never came. He never let us talk about it ever again. I feel the tears threatening to drop from my eyelids at the side and wiped them off. I missed my mum. Although dad tried to fill the void of my mum and brother and wouldn even take a second wife for my sake but it was never enough. I needed them now more than ever.

I pushed the blanket off me and stretched while reciting my morning prayers and sat up. I looked at my bedside drawer and picked my portable alarm clock. It was the shape of an elephant with a truck and flappy ears. Looking at it brought smiles to my face. The clock was what I remember of my brother Umar who gifted it to me on my second birthday. But nothing of my mum as she spend more time fighting my dad than actually looking after us. The clock means so much to me that I don think I can ever part with it. Although it has stopped working a long time ago.

”Haleema!! ” My dad shouted as he banged on my door and I mischievously laughed as I know I have exhausted his patience. He wanted me downstairs.

”Coming! ” I replied as I ran to the restroom to tidy up for the day not bothering to hear his reply as he grumbled and walked away.

I took a quick shower before rushing to the closet. I had to find the perfect appropriate outfit as my dad always said. He believes dressing in Jeans and tops brings out the shape of the body and he doesn want guys to ogled at my body. So its either a corporate wear or gowns but no jeans trousers. That was how strict he was. I went through dress after dress untill finally settling for a peach coloured gown with a mint green scarf and slipped on some mint strapy heels. I quickly applied some banana flavoured lip gloss and mascara. I grabbed my bag and rushed out to meet my dad at the dining table for breakfast. He never eat without me.

Dad was talking to someone when I got there and without a doubt I knew who it was.

I stand to study him before they noticed me. It was Faruq, the love of my life. It has been two years since we started dating but his love was always new to me.

I missed a step and the sound my heels made distracted them and they quickly turned to face me and I realized that I was blushing. I averted my eyes from Faruq and sat opposite him at the dinning table but I was so nervous and shy whenever I was around him but he refused to stop staring at me even when my dad cleared his throat.

”Shall we eat? ” Dad asked but I was up and running out of the door before any one could stop me.