SHATTERED SOUL

y are memories and flashback of my mum and my elder brother Umar. The last time I saw them was fifteen years ago when I was barely three years old and my little mind couldn fathom what a family I had then. I never remember my childhood as it was so traumatic and my mind had blocked it. I tried discussing the memories with my father when I started having them but he wouldn let us talk about it. He claimed it reminds him of my mum who died when I was about three years. She died together with my elder brother.

”They had an accident ” he had said and kept quite. I eagerly waited to hear more but it never came. He never let us talk about it ever again. I feel the tears threatening to drop from my eyelids at the side and wiped them off. I missed my mum. Although dad tried to fill the void of my mum and brother and wouldn even take a second wife for my sake but it was never enough. I needed them now more than ever.

I pushed the blanket off me and stretched while reciting my morning prayers and sat up. I looked at my bedside drawer and picked my portable alarm clock. It was the shape of an elephant with a truck and flappy ears. Looking at it brought smiles to my face. The clock was what I remember of my brother Umar who gifted it to me on my second birthday. But nothing of my mum as she spend more time fighting my dad than actually looking after us. The clock means so much to me that I don think I can ever part with it. Although it has stopped working a long time ago.

”Haleema!! ” My dad shouted as he banged on my door and I mischievously laughed as I know I have exhausted his patience. He wanted me downstairs.

”Coming! ” I replied as I ran to the restroom to tidy up for the day not bothering to hear his reply as he grumbled and walked away.

I took a quick shower before rushing to the closet. I had to find the perfect appropriate outfit as my dad always said. He believes dressing in Jeans and tops brings out the shape of the body and he doesn want guys to ogled at my body. So its either a corporate wear or gowns but no jeans trousers. That was how strict he was. I went through dress after dress untill finally settling for a peach coloured gown with a mint green scarf and slipped on some mint strapy heels. I quickly applied some banana flavoured lip gloss and mascara. I grabbed my bag and rushed out to meet my dad at the dining table for breakfast. He never eat without me.

Dad was talking to someone when I got there and without a doubt I knew who it was.

I stand to study him before they noticed me. It was Faruq, the love of my life. It has been two years since we started dating but his love was always new to me.

I missed a step and the sound my heels made distracted them and they quickly turned to face me and I realized that I was blushing. I averted my eyes from Faruq and sat opposite him at the dinning table but I was so nervous and shy whenever I was around him but he refused to stop staring at me even when my dad cleared his throat.

”Shall we eat? ” Dad asked but I was up and running out of the door before any one could stop me.