Night of the Abandoned Duchess

“…How is my physical condition?”

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She asked, barely keeping her composure.
It was the place where she inquired about a doctor who was good at treating gynecological diseases.
A small and rustic place that was cut out of an alley.

The old-looking doctor made a detailed diagnosis by pointing and looking at various places.

“Before, another doctor said it could be infertile.”

“I see.”

“It’s not that I don’t trust the doctor, though it could be a misdiagnosis, and each doctor may have different opinions, so I asked another doctor to get a diagnosis.
I heard that you are better than anyone here.
So, please…”

As the old-looking female doctor didn’t say anything, Rosalind laughed unnaturally at the flowing silence.
After saying her words, she stopped and waited eagerly for the doctor’s mouth to open.

It was the first time that the stillness felt so anxious and miserable.

“…Unfortunately, I am of the same opinion.”

“What, what…?”

She shook her head as if that was nonsense.

“To say that you are of the same opinion, that I may be infertile… is it?”

“Yes.
You are more likely to be infertile.”

Rosalind stared at her blankly, unable to continue her words.
After a while, she came to her senses and could barely open her mouth again.
She then was in a hurry to spit out as if she remembered a very good way.

“…Cure! Yes, can’t it be cured? If I take medicine or get treatment when I am sick, my symptoms will improve and I will be cured.
Isn’t it?”

“I’m not certain.”

“I can give you as much money as you need.
Whatever you want…”

There was a lot of earnestness in her trembling voice.
Even though Rosalind was saying, ‘I’ll give you anything,’ she looked somewhat desperate, as if she had nothing.

“Once a medicine is prescribed, I don’t know if it will work or not.
It is more likely to be less effective.”

“It is more likely to be less effective…?”

Spitting each word out, it was as if she was chewing back on the doctor’s words.
It was a familiar word… Because she had heard something similar from a doctor she had seen a while ago.

Why was it so cruel?

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Without realizing it, a smirk leaked out.

Rosalind burst out laughing out loud as if she was having fun.
Contrary to her loud laughter, her expression didn’t look happy in the slightest.
Rather, she was in a mess, like a person who cried a lot.

The doctor watched her sadly, and asked in a low voice when her voice stopped.

“Do you want some medicine?”

“It’s okay.
I am already taking it.”

“Yes, I understand.”

She finally turned her back to say thank you.
However, as she slowly made her way to the door, she had suddenly changed her mind and turned back to the doctor.

A voice that was about to burst into tears resounded through the heavy air.

“No, prescribe the medicine…”

 

* * *

 

Holding the medicine, Rosalind barely moved her feet one step at a time.
It was not easy for her to even take one step at a time.
She was now pushed to the edge of the precipice that she could not even deny the slightest bit of denial.

She used to convince herself that when Sophia said she might be infertile, she could be misdiagnosed.
She was a little bit of a young doctor, and even veterans can misdiagnose.

If she didn’t rationalize it like that, she thought she’d go crazy.

‘You may have a hard time getting pregnant.’

‘…Unfortunately, I am of the same opinion.’

‘Men love and cherish a woman who has his own child.’

One voice after another lingered in her mind.
It was constantly buzzing in her ears like a flying bug that clung to her even if she tried to shake it off.

The words of the doctor talking about her infertility, the voices of her parents urging her to have a child, and finally Kyle’s words were engraved… That was how he answered her when she asked what a wife was supposed to do.

‘Give birth to my child.’

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Rosalind felt dizzy, and her mind was spinning at the words that revolved like hallucinations.

Even though the sun was not hot, her head was dizzy as if she had been in the sun all day without a parasol.
Her chest was tight, and she felt like she was going to vomit.

She eventually lost strength in her legs and collapsed to the ground.
Rosalind didn’t pay attention to the gazes of passersby.
The light-colored dress was swept on the dirt floor, and the medicine she was holding spilled down, but she collapsed without doing anything.

A child was her last hope.

If that friendly night was the strength that kept him by her side, it was the hope that the child could make her paint a future with him.

‘If there’s a child, a child…’

She had endured such a long time just thinking about it.

“Why…!”

She spit out her words as if screaming.

‘Why is this happening to me…?’

She didn’t have the strength to get her legs up.
Her head was still spinning, and she felt like she was going to collapse if she stayed outside like this.
Let’s go home and think.
What’s different about going home?

A twisted heart rose, but she struggled to suppress it and began to move her steps.

However, she never returned home.

Home…

If home was the place where a family was, it was like she didn’t have a home.

Her husband and her cannot even be called family because Kyle doesn’t love her.
If he knew she couldn’t have children, she would be abandoned.

In fact, she may have been abandoned even now.
When has he ever taken care of her? It was only during sex that he found her… Only when he wants to pour his seeds into her and make a child.

Rosalind began to walk the path aimlessly.
She was dizzy and wanted to go in and rest, although she couldn’t move her steps towards the house.

She had been walking for a long time, and then she suddenly came to her senses and realized that she had arrived at a market in the north of the Capital.

Without one of the merchants, who was spreading the stall, said to her, “Madam! Take a look at this,” Rosalind would not have known that she was at the market.

When did she get here?

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As she looked around the market with a bewildered expression, she heard the voice of an innocent child nearby.

“Mom.”

Suddenly, she was confused as to what mother it meant, and the child’s small hand pulled the hem of her skirt.

“Mom.”

“Baby, I am not your mother.”

“Mom, mom.”

The child shook his head, expressing displeasure at the stranger’s words.
The little child’s mouth pouted out, and the little hand that was holding the hem of her skirt slowly lost its strength.

Soon, she saw a woman in plain clothes running in the distance.
The woman clasped the child’s hand and screamed.

“Peter, what are you doing? Do you know how worried I was when I thought you were gone? I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“Mom is the only thing the child can say.
Were you surprised?”

Rosalind nodded her head, saying she was really fine.

Moments later, the man who seemed to be the woman’s husband also ran up to her at once and bowed his head.

“I am really sorry.
Oh my, how could you make such a mistake?”

“It’s not.”

She tried to respond to their effort with a gentle expression on her face.
Soon after, the couple took the child’s hand and disappeared.

“You should have taken a good look at the kid! How can I catch him running? Anyway, it’s because he’s similar to his father, he’s really good at running.”

When the woman rebuked, the man responded bluntly before bursting into laughter at the subsequent rebuke.

As the couple got farther away, the voices quarreling with each other gradually diminished.
Rosalind stood there blankly, watching until the family’s backside disappeared in the distance.

It would be the first time that an ordinary and everyday scene feels so ironic, and it was the first time it has been pierced in her chest.

Standing as if her roots had been dug deep there, she began to move her steps again.
As she crossed the bustling market street, Rosalind could see a large fountain not far away.
She remembered Olivia’s voice she heard a few days ago, and a laugh leaked out unknowingly.

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‘There is a big fountain in the north…’

Maybe, they both saw this fountain, and her eyes widened in disbelief as she thought to herself.

“Olivia…?”

Rosalind rubbed her swollen eyes over and over again.

It was obviously Olivia over there.
And, it was her husband who stood affectionately next to her…

Rosalind unknowingly hid herself behind the alley.
As his wife, she didn’t understand why she hid her body, though she lowered her voice to hide her presence.

She watched them secretly as if spying on them.
Rosalind squirmed as she looked into Kyle’s face.
She wanted to hear what they were saying, but there was a distance, and she couldn’t hear well.

However, what was certain was that both of them looked happy.
Olivia covered her mouth with her fan and smiled as she softly touched his forearm, and if she found an accessory she liked on the stall, she tried it herself before looking back at Kyle.

Looking like that, she was just like his wife…

It seemed much more natural for the two of them to be a couple.

Rosalind, like a wife who seeks out her husband’s mistress, began to follow them carefully.
In her head, she knew it was foolish, though with her feet betraying her will, she was chasing after them.

Olivia suddenly stopped in front of a gorgeous building.
As they stopped, Rosalind paused her steps as well.

As she lifted her head to check the building, she was frozen on the spot.

It was a luxurious inn frequented by nobles.

She saw Olivia leading into the building, then she was followed by Kyle after that.

“…There—”

Rosalind blinked her eyes over and over again as if she couldn’t believe it.

Her legs felt weak, and she sat down without realizing it.
The dress, which had already been stained with dirt, became even more messy.

Uh, uh…

No words could come out.

And, that day, her husband did not return home.