Maybe a Fake Gintama

ike this and that in a dark environment.
That kind of thing, after watching the movie, two people will find a dark hotel…”

“Why is it all dark!” Shinpachi was almost driven crazy, “Dates should be pink! Why is it so dark? And what do you want to do in the dark? It’s too early!”

“I think what this idiot said makes sense.” Tsukuyo interrupted.

“It’s still the truth.
Isn’t the purpose of the date to do something like that?” Kawaki asked, “Also, it’s not like there’s no pink.
Maybe you can see it when you turn on the light.
That pink… oh!”

The angry Shinpachi pressed Kawaki’s head to the floor.

“Do you just want this work to be cut in half? You want to talk about that part! What exactly do you want to talk about!” Shinpachi roared with his eyes wide open and bloodshot eyes.

“I just wanted to say that the teddy bear is pink…” Kawaki answered weakly, “The teddy bear I bought is pink!”

“Only a kid would believe it! You never said there was a teddy bear!”

“Well, calm down,” Kawaki comforted, “Anyway, take these balloons with you, just in case.”

With that, Kawaki stuffed something into Shinpachi’s pocket.

Shinpachi threw the things in his pocket on the ground, “You don’t need this kind of thing anyway! It’s not the kind of date you said!”

But just as he finished speaking, Shinpachi was stunned, because those were really a few balloons…

“I was just thinking of blowing a few balloons, maybe she would like them,” Kawaki asked, “And didn’t you say you wanted pink? Aren’t these pink balloons good?”

“Ah… Sumimasen…”

“Huh? Why are you being modest with me?” Kawaki said, puzzled, “Don’t tell me you came up with some crooked ideas? That won’t do, Shinpachi.”

“No, no, absolutely not!” Shinpachi shook his head like a rattle drum, “I was just afraid that the balloon popping would scare her! That’s it!”

“Forget it, that’s all I have to say,” Kawaki waved his hand and said, “In short, just tidy up your appearance and go directly.
A little girl of this age has no resistance to the sweet words of a boy.”

“Take this with you.” Tsukuyo pointed to two buckets of lubricant and said.

“No… Let’s forget about this…” Shinpachi lowered his head and walked out.

…

After coming out of Yoshiwara, Shinpachi walked aimlessly on the street.

“I clearly found the person who is most likely to help me, but in the end, there was no useful advice…” Shinpachi muttered in a low voice.

However, just as he finished muttering, Shinpachi raised his head and realized that he had unknowingly walked into an Internet Teahouse.

“Why don’t I go online and ask for help?” A light flashed in Shinpachi’s mind, and he stepped in at the same time.

…

Shinpachi turned on the computer and gave himself a nickname of [Train Samurai] on the forum.
Then, he began to post.

[Train Samurai]: I saved a girl from a drunken molester on the train and I’m meeting her because she says she wants to thank me personally.
Is this a date? Also, what exactly is a date? ————xxxx year x month x day x hour x minute

‘Compared to those idiots around me, it’s better to ask for help from people I don’t know.
Although I don’t know how to use machines, there’s nothing I can do.
This way, I can hear the opinions of all kinds of people!’ Shinpachi couldn’t help but give his little intelligence a thumbs up.

Ding dong.

Just as Shinpachi finished thinking about it, the computer displayed a reply.

[Fruit Punch Samurai]: Train Samurai, this is not a sissy chat room where people discuss love.
This is a place where samurai declare their beliefs.
you’re on the wrong board.
Leave immediately.
————xxxx year x month x day x hour x minute

“Whoa! He’s really angry,” Shinpachi muttered to himself, “It’s obviously called Fruit Punch…”

[Train Samurai]: I’m sorry, Fruit Punch Samurai-san.
I’m not really good with this stuff.
But I’m really worried about this.
Could you please help me, Fruit Punch Samurai-san? ———— xxxx year x month x day x hour x minute

[Fruit Punch Samurai]: Not Fruit Punch Samurai, it’s Katsura!! ———— xxxx year x month x day x hour x minute

“Then why are you still using the internet name!” Shinpachi roared, even scaring the people who were around.

[Fruit Punch Samurai]: Go cut your abdomen… Go cut your abdomen… Go cut your abdomen… Go cut your abdomen… Go cut your abdomen… Go cut your abdomen… Go cut your abdomen… Go cut your abdomen… Go cut your abdomen… Go cut your abdomen…

“Why is this Fruit Punch Samurai-san so hostile? This guy is really annoying.
I really want to drag him out from the screen and beat him up!” Shinpachi cursed in his heart.

However, at this moment, Shinpachi received a new message.

[Fallen Angel Samurai]: Hey cut it out.
This is a free board where samurai can talk about anything.
By the way, I’m a beautiful, slutty, and flirty female swordsman.
I’m known as the Fencing Beauty.

‘It’s a girl! This person might be able to listen to me…’ As Shinpachi thought this, he started typing on the keyboard.