30 June 2095
Caleb woke up earlier than usual today, so he could have time to visit Roys grave before he head off to the Ether test registrations which would most probably take him all day.
As he got changed and was ready to leave the house for the cemetery, a soft small hand landed on his shoulder before he left.
”What are you doing up so early mum? ” Caleb said as soon as he turned around.
She gave him a weak smile, but couldn hide her concern for Caleb who hasn been in his actual mood for the past week.
”I know Roys death has affected you greatly,
” She told Caleb with a soft voice,
”but I don want you to think you
e alone on this. If you want to speak to me, you can, and I understand if you don want to as well, ”
Caleb forced a smile for his mother who looked after him so much even though he wasn her biological son.
”Don worry mum, this isn something I can forget, but I promise you that this is something that I will overcome, with your help, and everyone elses help, ” He told his mother before kissing her on the cheek and opening the door to leave the house.
His mother couldn contain her tears as they started drooling down her face.
”I will always be proud of you, just remember there are still people that love you and are willing to sacrifice everything for you, ”
Caleb weakly smiled before shutting the door behind him and leaving his mother in the house alone.
It was still early in the morning, but people had already started their morning jog. Caleb preferred to visit his deceased friends grave sooner because he was unsure whether he would have another chance to. Plus, he didn want to meet Calebs parents, because he felt guilty every time he saw them.
Ever since the incident, Lizz had been out for long hours from early in the morning till night to deal with reports with the Magus academy.
Ever since this demon has been inside of me, I feel like its harder for me to express my emotions. Or maybe its just me thats finding it hard to express myself…
I mean why wouldn I feel emotionless after all that has happened? Lizz basically told me that the only option for me now is to become a Magus, but the thing is, I don want to become a Magus… I don want to fight demons for a living, I don even feel any sort of need to avenge Roy. The only problem here is, seeing how things are going, there is no way the Magus Academy would ever let me live if I don choose the path of a Magus. If I were them, Id probably get rid of myself if I were to refuse to be a Magus. That means there is probably only one choice for me if I dont want to get killed…
The walk seemed a lot faster since Caleb was deep in his thoughts throughout the trip. He entered the cemetery and walked to Roys headstone.
Once he reached a few miles away, he saw a woman standing in front of the headstone. Someone he had already seen before, a young blonde-haired girl, it was Maya
Without even minding her, Caleb walked to the headstone and deposited the rose he had brought with him.
He then stood in front of the headstone next to Maya for a few minutes.
”Were you one of his friends? ” May then asked turning her head to Caleb and breaking the silence.
”Yes, I was, ” Caleb responded without looking back at her.
”Oh, well I bet you might be in a better position than me to know how kind of a person Roy was… ” She responded warmly.
Her voice was as sweet and friendly as the last time he had met her a week ago.
”Yes he was, and maybe I wasn a good enough friend for him after all, ” Caleb replied.
”Why would you think that? ”
”… I made a few stupid decisions in the past, and these decisions affected him too. But even despite that, he would always be there for me when I needed it. Its only now that hes gone that I realise how lucky of a person I was to be friends with such a cool person, ”
Maya looked at Caleb while she listened to him, and later tilted her head and smiled when she heard what Caleb had to say.
”I can already tell you
e a good person who cares about his friends, ” she replied to him, ”if you want me to be honest, I have a boyfriend, and I liked him in the first stage of our relationship, but now, I just feel like Im trying to grab onto a robe that has already been cut a long time ago. When I met Roy, his kindness and carefree personality were something that I loved. To be fair, I think I started to fall for him at some point… ”
Caleb finally looked at Maya for the first time surprised to hear her confess to someone she doesn even recognise.
”I still feel guilty for falling for someone else while Im in a relationship, but guilt is something that can drag you to the bottom of the ocean. Obviously, you can just forget what you have done, but you can live with it, and accept is a mistake youve made in your life. As for whatever mistake youve made with Roy, I think the best thing you can do now is live on with it, and most importantly, enjoy life not for yourself, but for him too, ”
Caleb looked at Maya with an astonished expression surprised at how good her advice was.
It might be hard to admit, but shes probably right… my guilt is something that can be taken away. At the end of the day, I still have a role to play in Roys death, but at this point, there is nothing I can do about it. I will still live on with this guilt filling my heart, but at least, I will still have a reason to live. If Im still alive today, its because Roy saved me, so Im not gonna live for me, but Im gonna for me and Roy… ”
”Its nice to see two friends of Roy come and visit him, ” Beside them, Roys mother had come to see her son.
”Caleb, its nice seeing you here, ” She said before hugging him.
Maya couldn hide her astonishment when she heard Roys mother call the handsome and muscular boy in front of her Caleb.
How in the world is that Caleb… I remember one week ago he was as skinny as a stick! She thought, but she didn dare say anything for now.
”Good morning Ms Uther, ” Caleb responded.
Ms Uther then turned to Maya and smiled at her before stepping forward to place the flowers on the headstone.
The two young adults moved back to leave some space for her.
She deposited the flowers and took a few moments with her eyes shut to pray. Once done she opened her eyes and turned to the two young adults.
”Roy was a very social person, but one thing I can agree on is that he never chose the wrong friend, ” She said as she looked at both of them.
”Caleb, I know you feel guilty about what happened, ” she said, ”its so easy to see it, especially when someone who is always motivated loses all his emotions. But I don want you to feel any guilt or any sort of debt you have to pay toward us. Remember, you are part of our family, never forget that. We don want you to continue living your life feeling any guilt for something you are not responsible for. You are not the one who killed him, and Roy trusted you as his best friend. And if even after that you still feel you have to pay a debt to us, then you will only pay it back once you live a happy life, find a woman you love, and build a healthy family, do you understand me? ”
” *Sigh*, I guess I have a debt to pay you back now… ” Caleb said smiling at Roys mother.
”Thats what I like to hear from you, never let your emotions take advantage of you, or make you into someone you normally aren … ”
”Yes maam ” Caleb replied.
Even though Caleb still feels this guilt deep inside of him, he decided to live with this guilt, but not let it consume him. There will be times when you feel like everything is dark and a big empty void is filling your world, however, never let this void take over what makes you human. Revenge and anything similar might be tempting, however, it will never make you feel at peace. You will only be at peace once you feel like you have filled this guilt with happiness.
In Calebs case, the only way he can fill this guilt is by living the life he and Roy would dream of, and by living on for everyone else.
”Oh… I never thought of asking you Caleb, now that youve graduated, what you aspire to become? ”
”You told me last time you wanted to become an explorer didn you? ” Maya said looking at Caleb.
However, with a totally reliving expression, Caleb closed his eyes and looked high into the sky. He took a deep breath, and reopened his eyes once again before responding:
”I gonna become a Magus… ”
Author: Sorry for the boring chapters, things will get more interesting once we pass the Ether tests.
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