Chapter 2 – Please Graduate As Soon As Possible


It was already night when I woke up.

I had been carried into the cave I lived in in my sleep.


“Great Master, hast thou awoken?”


Reia was sitting in a seiza,[note]kneeling with the tops of the feet flat on the floor, and sitting on the soles[/note] staring down into my face.
I then realized that yesterday’s events weren’t a dream.

It seemed that I wouldn’t wake from the nightmare of being first on the adventurer rankings.


“I sincerely apologize.
I did not remember that thou art still exhausted from fighting the ancient dragon.
I have heard that it was a month-long battle to the death, where thou could not even pause for a rest.”


No, I pause for a rest every day at eight pm.


“Ah, Reia.”

“Yes, Great Master.”


I wondered what I should say.
I had a lot I wanted to tell her, but my brain wasn’t functioning properly.

I got up and looked down into Reia’s eyes; she was still sitting in a seiza.


“To start off with, you are absolutely prohibited from touching me from now on.”

“Huh, ah, I-I understand, Great Master.”


Reia’s facial expression progressed in three stages: first, confusion; second, embarrassment; third, seriousness.


“I understand.
Thy power is too great, and it would greatly harm me upon contact.
To restrain such power and protect me, thou forcibly stopped thy bodily functions.
I sincerely apologize.”


Reia bowed very deeply.

Yep, she got just about everything completely incorrect.

But it would’ve been a pain to explain everything to this delusional girl, so I just let it slide.
I’d probably die if she hugged me again.


“Good that you get it.
That’s exactly right.”


That line would become a lot more common in later days.

I would end up regretting not explaining anything right now, just because I felt it a pain in the Google AdSense.[note]Ad companies have a very large hate towards profanities.
Gotta be family friendly![/note]

By letting it slide here, I would end up keeping on letting it slide.


“Also, stop calling me Great Master.
I get this weird itchy feeling inside when you call me that.”


“An so, how shall I call thee?”


I remembered what Alice called me.


“Takumi’s fine.
Also, could you drop that odd way of speaking.
Just speak how you normally do.
Like how you talk to your friends.”

“I-I apologize, but that must be refused.
I cannot allow myself to speak thee as I would to a friend.
G-Great Master, I cannot do do such a thing.”


Her sense of the language did a Flowers for Algernon.


“Anyways, you aren’t allowed to call me ‘Great Master.’ We can slowly work on the language.”

“I-I understand.
M-Master Takumi.”

“You can drop the ‘Master.’”

“T-Then, Takumi, p-please forgive me.”


Yep, this was a bit better.

Now I just had to get her to graduate as soon as possible.


“So, Reia, what’d you come here to learn?”

“T-Takumi, please call me by a nickname or just ‘trash.’ It is unsuitable for a teacher to be referring to the student with the same formality as the student to the teacher; discipline must be kept.”


The second choice was too mean for me: I would never call someone that.



“Yes, Takumi.”


We looked into each others’ eyes for a few seconds but both averted our eyes at the same time.

It was a bit embarrassing.


“About what I came here to learn… If possible, I would like to learn all of thy secrets; however, I understand that it would take me centuries to be able to accept such power.”

Good that you get it.
That’s exactly right.”


Correcting her now would make me seem like a liar.

I had no secrets.
My ultimate techniques were the cats cradle and being able to sleep really quickly.[note]Okay, I really want the second ultimate technique there.[/note]


“A few days before, one of my weaknesses was pointed out by Alice.
I am unable to suppress my power.
In training myself to always use my full strength on enemies, I became unable to go easy on anyone.”


I understood; this was the reason why I almost died when she hugged me.
I congratulated my past self for banning physical contact. 


“Alice said that the truly strong do not let out their auras, and I seem like a weakling for not being able to conceal my strength.”

“That’s true.
It’s really easy to tell that you’re strong.”


When I first met her, I thought that she was an evil monster for a second.
She let out even more of a fearful aura than what you let into the porcelain goddess after taco night.


“Alice once told me that the ultimate strongest, transcending humanity, Takumi completely hid all his aura inside his body.
A terrifying aura that could serrate the flesh of anyone around it was hidden so well that a million people could pass by him without feeling a thing.”


And that was because I had no such aura.

I wondered why Alice thought of me like that.


“I was astounded when I first met you.
I could only sense an aura about as powerful as a goblin from the ultimate strongest.
It was the same as the smallest of fries among adventurers, so I was deeply impressed… Huh? Are those tears?”[note]Reia becomes a bit less formal with her speech, so I’m making her talk more normally now.[/note]

“I-I’m not crying.
Just some dust that got into my eye.”


She compared me to a goblin and the smallest of fries.
Not even a regular small fry, but the smallest of fries. 

Well, before I joined my party and climbed up to five-hundred something, I was closer to the bottom of the guild rankings than twice-permabanned hardstuck bronze players.

I knew my own strength very well, but the truth never failed to hurt.


“I am sure that your amazing control was obtained after painful, bloody training.”
“G-Good that you get it.
T-That’s exactly right.”


I felt a little bit of crippling depression creep into my voice.


“I implore you to please teach me your ways.”

“My training is strict.”

“I wouldn’t wish for anything less.”


I really wished she in fact did wish for something less.

I felt a very passionate gaze resting on me.

I didn’t know what to do: I had nothing to teach her.
It would be nice if she just learned everything by herself and just went home.


“Well, you know.
It’s pretty late at night, so let’s eat and talk about training tomorrow.
Do you know how to cook?”

“No, I deeply apologize.
Since I was born, I have lived with the sword.”


I kinda had a feeling that it’d be like that.

At least I had something to teach her there.


“Well, could you peel the potatoes? Something like this.”


I pulled a tater out of a bag and started to peel it with a knife.
Reia watched it carefully, eyes glittering.


“This is that thing, isn’t it? While it may seem like simple cooking, it actually ties into the training.
Nothing less from the ultimate strongest, I presume.”


She somehow became all fired up.

Of course, she was completely wrong but whatever.


Good that you get it.
That’s exactly right.”


I did not know that this method of teaching would later become world-famous.

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